Most of the time, the “honeymoon phase” for most couples would last forever if couples did not have to communicate. Now this is especially true when couples communicate about conflict, and even more so when they have to communicate while in conflict. We know this paints a dark picture. But wait, there’s good news, because here are 3 couples conflict communication tips we bet your mama didn’t tell you about, much less your marriage counselor:
Tip #1: Look in the Mirror
Taking time out for inner reflection and contemplation to assess internal experience is crucial for a successful relationship. It gives you the power to look in the mirror and ask: “Okay, what’s my part in this?”
This tip is priceless because the path to achieving any goal is to have a reality check about whether the current mindset and skillset a person has matches the mindset and skill set necessary to achieve the goal or manifest their relationship vision.
How to do it
Here’s how to put this tip to work for you.
Step 1 – Make a list of qualities and characteristics of the mindset and skillset of successful and happy couples in long term marriage and love relationships.
Step 2 – Then list the qualities of your mindset and skillset for your marriage or current love relationship. Then compare the lists. Where are the gaps? Ouch! Commit to filling in the gaps with as much passion as you have for being right.
Tip #2: What can and what can not be changed?
If you continue to try to change what you cannot, you will end up exhausted, emotionally drained, frustrated, stressed, disappointed and/or an angry spouse or love mate. This could ultimately lead to your marriage or love relationship ending in divorce or breakup.
How to do it
Review the list of the gaps described in Tip #1. Circle or underline what you can realistically change. Hint: It’s not about the other person. This can then become the focus for moving forward.
Tip #3: Take action on what can be changed.
When a person knows what they can realistically change, they become empowered to move forward toward success. This one distinction gives hope for both you and the relationship to grow.
How to do it
Develop a vision for the outcome of your relationship. Set goals and objectives to guide your action steps. This can bridge the gap from where you are to where you want be, and accomplish the results you desire.
Bonus Tip – Since you now know 3 specific steps you can take for your relationship, it’s time for your next success steps.
Get your free instant access to our Communicate to Connect Video Workshop, the free Video Series will help you overcome communication problems and connect or re-connect with your partner.